Happy Winter Solstice and Happy Holidays!

Now that it has been a billion years since I've last updated, I am here to write rather my second to last or last update of 2013! My last update was over a month ago! I greatly apologize to those that regularly read my blog, as the last time I checked I have had over seventy visitors! Honestly, I never expected so many people to even look at this, but thank you for even taking the time to glance my blog over.

Many things have happened in this last month. I've gone to Kyoto twice with my friend who has been mentioned several times throughout my blog posts (we shared the same host family in Angers and went to London and Ireland together), spent some time in Nipponbashi (the Akihabara of Osaka http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Akihabara; if you don't know what Akihabara is then you should), and experienced some good and bad times. It has been too long of a month for me to remember absolutely everything, but just know that Japan is wonderful and I am finally starting to understand life here.

Finals were this last week. They went all right, but could have gone a lot better if I had not been so stressed and worn out. Luckily, they are over and now I can relax for winter break.

I have said goodbye to many friends who returned to their home countries, and it makes me think of last year and how the same happened then too. Saying goodbye is like waking from a dream; while it is happening you are not sure if it is really the end, but afterwards it is over and the time has passed for a chance to experience more. I still have five months left here in Japan, so am almost halfway. My abroad journey is over halfway over, and frequently I have dreams where I am back in Alaska, wondering if I had done everything I wanted to do. Did I accomplish what it was I wanted to accomplish? These dreams give me melancholia, wishing to be back in France yet dreaming to stay in Japan. All the while I yearn to rediscover my beautiful home in Alaska. The cold winters call to me, the comfort of the snow and ice leave an empty spot in my heart with their absence.

Being in Japan has made me realize that perhaps I am not the type made for romantic relationships. If it is within the future, then so be it, but currently I find myself better alone. Focusing on interpersonal relationships between friends, and the interpersonal relationship I hold with myself, is a world I wish to spend more time with instead. I wish I had realized this sooner in order to prevent heartbreak regarding the other person, but everything holds experiences to learn from. One of the more difficult things in life is learning to forgive yourself, but 'tis life. Without obstacles life would be nothing but a forever going piece of white paper without lines. While there would be the curiosity and longing to come across something, we would grow exhausted at the journey without journeying. What makes a journey a journey are the obstacles, the tears and sweat, the adventure, and the experiences. We learn from the journey itself, not always from the reward or outcome. Well, personally, I think if you look hard enough or think a certain way you will find that you can learn from absolutely everything. But sometimes the journey is more fulfilling than the outcome.

I crave knowledge in this fantastic universe. If I could live forever in order to just learn and learn for eternity I would do it without hesitation. My soul is free and wandering, and every time I attempt to set it down with commitment it screams to be let go. With a heart of passion I cannot keep myself still and must continue to always be moving, learning, educating. If I close my eyes for too long, my time in Japan will be gone. I must experience this place here and now, without distractions.

If there was one thing I do not like to hear is that I am average or normal. If someone says I am stupid, I shrug it off, as truly I think no one is really stupid. Perhaps ideas, but never people. But if someone says that I am normal, average ... I feel as though I had been dunked in a pool of glaze. A glaze that makes everyone the same, without imperfections or quirks. I would rather be told I am stupid, for then I know that we are at the same level as it takes someone without much thought to tell another they are stupid. Truly, I think everyone is at a similar level, but the difference is that we are geniuses and intelligent (and stupid and ignorant) in different things. But being 'average' or 'normal' equates us to be the exact same. All of us with the same glaze, the same pose as the glaze hardens. Those with the glaze do not have the passion to break free, the quirkiness to strip it away and take control of themselves. That is not the person I want to be. Actually, I was never made for the glaze. Some people are, but I was not.

Honestly, I like to sit and think. I love philosophy and theorizing. At my core, that is what I do. I love complicated ideas and wish that I had given myself the chance to learn more math and science earlier. But I do not fear the "too late". It is never too late and I will learn. Of course, when I say learning, I do not just mean skills and subjects, but also experiences.

I used to be shy about giving compliments but as I have grown older, and have reached out, I have realized how truly lovely it is to compliment another person. There have been times at the store, a clerk with their name printed on their card, I have said that they had a wonderful name and I watched them light up as if they were a child. Or a man in the store with a nice mustache, a child who says clever things, a friend who wears pretty clothing, an elder person with cool glasses ... I love it when they smile and look so surprised. But not just appearances, when a new acquaintance makes a quirky joke they deserve to be told they are funny. Someone says something inspiring or smart, they too, deserve to be told that they are smart. People deserve to be told they are beautiful, smart, nice, fabulous. Not that they are average. Of course, they deserve to be told it earnestly. You have to have the thought sitting there in your brain before you say it. You have to look at that person and genuinely think, "Wow, they are beautiful," or, "That hat looks so cool on them," et cetera. Lying does no one any good. How can someone get better if they are told they are good at something they are not good at? But they should not be told they are "bad". No one is bad at anything, really. If someone has very little experience in something how is it fair to say they are bad at it? They are simply not experienced. When people show me their art, I never tell them they are bad. I give them advice. I encourage them to continue, to get better and practice. People deserve encouragement, even if they are "terrible" at something or even if they are very "good".

Sometimes I wish people would do that for me. Perhaps it is selfish, but sometimes I wish people would tell me that I am smart or beautiful. It sounds whiny and lame, I know. Though I think everyone wants that occasionally. I don't want to hear it all the time, but maybe once in a while, unsuspectingly, is a little nice. Otherwise I think, "What is wrong with me? Am I ugly? Am I stupid?" and then I wonder if other people think that way. If there was one thing I wanted in this world, it would be for others to not feel sad or ill about themselves and others.

I would take all of the suffering in the world away and suffer instead in a blink of an eye. Perhaps if people focused on the beauty in the world, and in themselves, there would be less suffering. If there was/is a god, I would challenge him to give me all of the suffering in the world and send me to the darkest place in the universe if it would allow for everyone else to live eternity in happiness.

Before this blog post grows any longer, I would like to slow down for a moment and mention a few things about Japan. Before the end of the 2013, I plan to write my last blog post of the year. This will not be it.

1. Since it is the Christmas season, may as well explain that Christmas in Japan is very different from Christmas in the states. It is a holiday for couples instead of family and very few people get the day off. Though I know in the U.S. there are a lot of people who still work on Christmas day ... and of course the holiday here has nothing to do with Christianity since Japan's Christian population is less than 1%. To be honest, the holiday has never had anything to do with Christianity for me, personally. But I am not very big on holidays for couples so couldn't care less.
2. The Japanese apparently think they live in a COLD country. This is hilarious to me considering how their houses don't even have central heating (someone told me they do in Hokkaido, but Hokkaido sounds like it is similar to the "northern" states of America where they only have three to six months of winter). Come back when you get nine months of snow and -50 F/-45 C at least twice a year. Oh, and central heating. Also, if the girls are more worried about being pretty than being cold then that also tells me that this is not a cold country. Girls in northern countries don't know what fashion even is (I still don't understand this foreign concept of "fashion"; why is it so important?).
3. I ate a fried leaf. http://www.lensonjapan.com/momiji-tempura-maple-leaf-snacks/
4. Maid cafés are not as interesting as I had thought. It is like a normal restaurant but with the waitresses dressed like maids. That draw on your food with ketchup or other condiments.
5. I guess I should mention Pachinko even though my interests in it are low. Pachinko is this game you play where balls fly around and sometimes they will go into holes where you get the chance to win some of these little silver balls. Once you win the balls, you can take them to another parlor (that is not associated with Pachinko) and exchange it for money. Technically gambling is illegal in Japan, but for some reason that I cannot understand this gets away with it. Maybe because in Alaska even things that could vaguely be related to gambling is illegal (except pull tabs for some reason). There are Pachinko parlors all over the damn place. There are apparently more Pachinko parlors in Japan than educational facilities. There are about four or five Pachinko parlors next to the train station I get on to go to school in the morning. They are loud and obnoxious buildings.
6. Somehow the Japanese get away with eating all this fried food yet are one of the healthiest countries on the planet.
7. There are escalators everywhere but benches and seating are nearly impossible to find.
8. I guess the Japanese think it is winter now, but there is no snow so I can't tell how they figured that out.
9. While I was waiting for my train one morning, I watched as one of the rail guides (I don't know what they are actually called, the people who blow the whistles and walk around to warn people of upcoming trains) shoved people inside the train as if he was packing a suitcase. That was how full the train was.
10. Apparently, back in the day, women used to blacken their teeth with a kind of dye that acted as a sealant. It was mostly done to married women, but the practice has died out.

That is all for today. I hope you enjoyed today's blog post and hopefully it wasn't too dramatic. Anyway, Happy Holidays and until next time~

Twelve Things

There is this Facebook thing where you like someone's status and they give you a number. You're supposed to use those numbers to tell facts about your life, or something as such. Since mine ended up being super long, I just decided to make it a blog post instead.

My number was twelve, so twelve things about myself ...

1. I almost never say that I am American. It is always that I am an Alaskan. I know that the U.S. is very diverse, but I feel like Lower 48 Americans compared to Alaskans and Hawaiians are a whole other playground. I've met more Lower 48-ians since my adventures in France and Japan started than I did when I was in Alaska. It has opened my eyes to realize just how different we are. I always have a difficult time relating to people from the Lower 48. I feel like we are from a different country more than just a different part of the same country.

2. I yearn for knowledge. Learning is one of my purposes in life.

3. I wish that I had cared more about math and that, in the past, I had more interest in it. Now I feel as though it is very difficult to get to where I want with math since I am so far behind. I want to understand complicated math formulas in order to understand complicated ideas of the universe (and with my ever growing interest in science, I need math). But at the University I am stuck in developmental math, far behind. Even if I caught up, I wouldn't have the money to continue going to school just to learn math. If anyone has any tips on how I can learn math other than the University, that would be wonderful.

4. I always wondered why when I was in grade school it was so difficult for me to make friends. I had friends, but they were usually always preoccupied with other friends. The older I grew, the more my friends faded and grew into cliques that I was simply a ghost when I was a part of it. I would say things and no one would acknowledge it. I wondered why my voice was not heard. Was I loser? Did I not understand how social cliques and being social worked? After I graduated, I had a lot of hatred in my heart about it. There was a lot of anger towards people who were my friends. It was unfair of me to have this much hatred, but I think it is this hatred that led me into a time of self-reflection. After some time, I wanted to become better for myself. I wanted to dispel this hatred that really was at myself more than at my previous friends. I hated myself for being a loser, for being so full hate, and for blaming others and treating others less because I couldn't figure out how to be socially normal. I still haven't figured out this whole social thing, but I have managed to dispel a lot of hatred. I work for happiness now, for the happiness of others and myself. It is easier for me to make friends, but I look for friends who are positive and not passive aggressive. But I have become a very different person than I was even two years ago. But that's okay, I am always striving to be a better person and conquer my fears and weaknesses.

5. This is just a continuation of number 4. I think at some point, I realized that I am weird. Like a lot of people think they are weird, and they pride themselves on being "weird", but I think that I am legitimately weird to some people. Not the good weird. The bad weird. Like, socially awkward in a not pleasant kind of way Weird. As in, not Zooey Deschanel awkward, more like really quiet and lots of social anxiety that is obviously awkward. Actually, this article pretty much sums up what I mean by "bad weird": http://www.succeedsocially.com/weird. Wow, it is like this person stalked me. Except the Hyper and Childish, Amusing myself, or provoking people who shun me ... the rest is quite accurate. I think that this is one reason why number four happened. I was a loser. Kind of still am. Not that I personally find it a bad thing, as I have come to accept myself and have little or no shame about being socially different. I don't fit into the mold, and I do not wish to. My social anxiety has gotten better, and I say a lot less stupid things to people I don't know. I think being weird in this way is a part of me, kind of the core of who I am so it isn't something I really want to change. I've come to accept myself better.

6. Talking about social molds, I really am not fond of these. I do not think that women must be feminine, that men must be masculine, or that other social constructs determine how a person must act. I really am for the nurture argument, that environment and what we see as a young child determines how we act. Of course, I think there are some situations where nature plays a role, but in the gender argument, I am strictly for nurture besides when it comes to the biological aspect of the human body. Of course men and women have different downstairs and a little bit of different amounts of chemicals, but other than that I really think that gender is taught. So I will not agree with you if you say that all men are stupid and think with their dicks, nor will I agree with you that all women like chocolate and high heels. This does not just apply to gender, but for racial stereotypes as well. I do not think someone of a different skin color is any different from me besides they have built in sun-block and I don't. How can I even complain about that? Everyone to me is human first. We are all one on this planet, and I love people based on who they are, not what they are.

7. My top pet peeves are: a.) you know that time when the theatre gets dark and the movie starts? You are supposed to put your phone away at that point. b.) long fingernails. They interfere with everything! Typing, writing with a pencil, just everything. I can't understand people who work at jobs where they do typing and have these manicured, long nails. c.) 1 cent coins! UGH. Dollars, Euros, Yen. Why does these exist? They are useless! d.) people standing behind me or off to my side while I am sitting. e.) the sound when you rub the carpet, it hurts me. f.) sick children who are coughing these gross, sick coughs nearby. g.) people who talk to children in this baby voice. They are not morons, just kids. A gentle voice is okay, but a baby voice is absolutely unnecessary and it sounds like you are mocking them. h.) Being late. I like to think that I am fairly patient, but when people are late repeatedly or so late that I am missing out, I get a little irritated. Or when I am with people and I am ready but they are not so we are all late. I can take like five minutes to get ready, but if you are not like that, please get ready in advance. Know how long it takes for you to get ready for something. And if you are late, apologize. And mean it. It's annoying when someone is late, and they are not even winded, with their hair all styled ... and then they say, "Oh, I am so sorry I was late! Teehee." Grrr. g.) Being told that I look or am just like my mother. Sorry, Mom. I just think that we are very different people. Also, I think that I look like a mix of both of my parents. It just so happens that I am a female, my mom is a female so people say "You look just like your mom!" But then my brother and I look a lot alike but I never hear anyone saying that to him. So, no, I don't think you're being "nice" when you say that. I think you are saying something you feel obliged to say and honestly it's a little bit rude. It tells me you know nothing about my personality. In fact, my mom and I are almost opposites. She is outgoing and likes being social, I am an introvert and let's just say that I have spent months without going outside or seeing other people and was content about it. She is much more a people person than I would ever want to be. We are very different. It's not a bad thing. Nothing wrong with being different. I like to be different.

8. I have chronic physical pain, which I think I have mentioned before. A bone near my spinal cord is fused together, so I am in a lot of pain from time to time. I think it explains a lot of things in my life, such as having a lot of sleep issues (that I think I have explained in a previous blog post as well). But I do not like to admit when I am in pain.

9. I am obsessed with the idea of death. This concept has subconsciously controlled a lot of my life. It was only until recently that it left my subconscious and it dawned on me that it was the case. For so long, I denied that I would ever die. I truly believed that I would live forever and escape the clutches of death. I would find the cure, an elixir of life. The fear of death consumed me. Throughout my entire life I have had horrific nightmares, most related to death. I am very much effected by death, even when I watch a movie or read a book and death happens, I feel so much pain from it in most cases. As a child, I read a lot. For fear of character death, I always read ahead to see if they died, so that if they did it would be less painful when I got to it. But I am interested in death, or a concept of an afterlife involving the paranormal. I've managed to write a 300 page bestiary on mythical, folkloric beings, most being related to death in some form. It dawned on me that I was obsessed with death around eight months ago. I had sleep paralysis, where this monster was staring down at me, its hallowed out eyes staring into my soul. I saw myself for a split moment, lying there, staring at this creature. Then I returned to myself, paralyzed, unable to move. It was so real. When I finally broke from the sleep paralysis, I was so relieved it had not been real ... but it did not leave my mind and at that moment, I thought of death. I thought of it and it made me physically cold and sick. At that point, it was as if all of the pieces had connected and I realized that I was obsessed with death.

P.S. This is not a plea for help. I very much enjoy life. I am just obsessed with the concept of death, not of being dead. I still fear death, greatly. I do not fear the idea of living forever. So, don't worry.

10. Hell, this is so long. Who wants to read all this shit? I adore writing. It is really the best way for me to 'talk'. There are things I would never tell people through talking, but would tell them through writing. Perhaps that is why I am a little more open in my blogs and Facebook than I may be in real life. I enjoy the distance. I can tell people something without having to see their faces, without seeing their reactions. I don't have to see if they think I am crazy. Of course, there are some things I greatly prefer to say in person, but I can express myself ten times better through writing. Sometimes I don't have to think when I write, my fingers just move and my ideas form onto paper or a computer document. I just go, and my feelings leave me, my thoughts transcribed and no longer consuming me. I don't enjoy going long bouts without writing.

11. I always find it sad when people think swear words are uncreative. If they are so uncreative, why don't you make them creative? In fact, I find it uncreative to think something is uncreative. Yes, of course, it is the job of the creator to make something creative, or give a little push, but it is also the job of the person receiving to use their brains and be creative as well. I detest that schools teach creativity, but only within the confines of what they think is creative. If you are too creative, too thoughtful, you are a danger. Do not fear creativity! Do not fear conformity either, for where this conformity, there is a chance to turn it into creativity.

12. I may be afraid of death, but I am not afraid of life. And while I am afraid of death, I am also intrigued. I am intrigued by my fears.

13. BONUS because I forgot one that I really wanted to say.

As I child I never wanted to grow older. Although I was bullied, and at times a bully myself ... and often I was lonely and sad that I was misunderstood ... I was always content where I was. I remember at age twelve realizing that I was depressed, and when I told others that I was depressed they told me, "no, you are too young for that, you are just sad." But I was depressed. I felt more than just sadness. I hated myself and the world. But I did not wish to be older, as being older does not make life easier or happier.

And now that I am older, I do not yearn to be young again. I would change nothing in my life (except maybe that I had tried harder with math). I am content to be twenty-two. I do fear getting older. But as I said, I am intrigued by what I fear.


Wow, that was so long. I am so hungry for breakfast right now. I hope that if you read all of this, that you enjoyed it and maybe you understand a little bit about why I am ... well ... kind of weird. But aren't we all? Of course, every day is a journey and every day I realize that I do not know a lot about myself. These are realizations about myself that I have had ... but they may change as I change. Who am I? I don't know, and that's okay because the mystery is the best part of life. Mystery gives me the yearning for knowledge.

Anyway, I have to go eat breakfast now. Until next time~

Air Pollution

The first time I realized that something was amiss was in Grenoble. It would become hard to breathe, and I would frequently cough this wheezy, tired cough. My host family took me up into the mountains, and when I looked down upon Grenoble, I gasped. A huge haze, human-made haze, covered the city. In the mountains, I felt as though new life had been breathed into me and my coughs were gone. Once I returned back to Grenoble, it came back. Rainy days were better.

Here in Osaka, I get headaches more often, the wheezy, weak cough has returned; and often my chest is heavy. Last weekend I had gone to an onsen (hot springs) up in the mountains of Wakayama Prefecture, and again I was free to breathe. 

Living in Alaska, I'm not so sure many people know what it is like to experience true air pollution that greatly damages the air we breathe. Although, the main problem regarding air pollution (oh, does everyone absolutely hate this, I do too ... but facts are facts) is wood smoke. Wood smoke is actually a very bad carcinogenic and when you burn wood, even if you like its woody smell, you are poisoning yourself almost as much as a cigarette would. http://www.familiesforcleanair.org/health/health4/. If that isn't sufficient enough information for you, then you are free to go do your own research and come back to me with a ten-page paper with your findings if you'd like. I would most definitely read it (no sarcasm). 

I am not sure if wood smoke pollution is as dangerous as the pollution that major cities expel, but either way ... I can feel the affects much greater here in Osaka and when I was in Grenoble than I ever had when I was in Alaska. 

My main question is: how can humans live like this? How many go, day by day, breathing in this poison without ever wondering or knowing what damage their body is taking? How can the people who are aware of this not educate others? And why do some people plug their ears and ignore what is happening? There is nothing to deny. People die daily from air pollution. It could be you, it could be me. So why is this acceptable? This is not something that only effects one person, it effects everyone who lives in the area, and all major cities have this problem. I generally have this belief that people should be allowed to do whatever they want, as long as it doesn't effect others. Pollution does.

As I said in my previous blog, environment is the most important thing to me. I come from a very nature-based land. Alaska is wilderness. It is environment and nature. When I see litter, it infuriates me. How could you throw your plastics and your garbage onto this beautiful land? Why is it so difficult to carry it to a garbage can? And if that garbage can is full, why can you not find another one? People here in Japan like to brag about how "clean" it is here, but I see nothing but pollution infiltrating my lungs and people seem to lack the ability to throw things away worse here than in Alaska (not as bad as Grenoble though). 

My wonder is how people can be more worried about societal constructs such as government and money and things that only exist because humans said so over the environment. Something that is real no matter what. If the government falls, there will be many people who suffer. If money were to be abolished, some people may suffer. But if the environment falls ... everything will suffer.  Our societal constructs will no longer matter at that point. It won't matter who is president, which party is "destroying" the U.S. (as it seems both sides think the other is destroying it - they are both right), who is the bigger 'meanie', who believes in what ... none of that will matter. But who will have the last laugh? 

And that is my post for today.

Until next time~

Religion and Alaska Whiners

I know I have been seriously slacking on blog posts, but sometimes my creative juices aren't working and my inspiration is down. This last week has been slow, not much happening. Tomorrow I will be going to an onsen (hot spring) in the Wakayama Prefecture. Other than that, I am lacking in the news department. I have been very tired lately. Even with enough sleep, it is a struggle to wake up in the mornings.

Today I won't have any particular topics to discuss, but maybe just several odd topics instead.

My first topic, since it is the thing that is currently on my mind, is religion. This is always a touchy topic, as someone always gets offended, but I stopped caring about people getting offended over religion quite some time ago (since all I have to do is say I don't believe in a god in order to offend someone). If you read this and are heavily religious/spiritual and feel the need to discuss the topic with me afterwards, keep these thoughts in mind: 

1. I have no desire to argue about religion ... been there, done that ... too many times. 

2. I will not be converted. Been there, done that. 

So really, don't waste your time. 

Chances are, you are reading my blog because we are Facebook friends and you saw the link I posted about a new blog post. In this case, you may be aware that I like/share/post a lot of atheist/agnostic/wiccan/pagan/anti-theist-related things. This seems to allow for people to assume that I am an atheist liberal who hates religion. Let me debunk a few of these in case anyone thought otherwise. 

1. Statement One: I am an atheist.

Okay, fair enough. I post a lot of atheist-like things. I don't believe in a god(s), this is true. Though, I tend to take a more agnostic approach on this. There could be a god, but I am just more inclined to not think so. I am more likely to be polytheistic than monotheistic. Why? Because it is easier to justify the existence of evil if there are multiple gods than if there is just one, omnipotent one. Either way, I really just don't think so. When I think of the suffering in the world, I cannot accept the idea of a god. 

My beliefs are complicated, just like anyone else really. I really enjoy many different types of paganism. New Age Paganism, I find, is very peaceful. People who support nature and love, while discouraging hatred and anger. Taking from the old religions and breathing life back into them. I have no issues with religions that speak of peace and love (and aren't missionary). Sometimes I consider myself pagan, because their connection with nature is beautiful to me. 

So in the end, it depends. Some days I feel pagan, some I feel atheist, and some I feel agnostic. 

2. Statement Two: I am a liberal.

I really am not a fan of being categorized politically. I do not consider myself liberal nor conservative. There are things I lean left and things I lean right. I would not vote for a Democrat nor a Republican. I think our two party system is a huge joke. Honestly, I think we should completely do away with our entire system, start over from scratch. The most important thing to me is environment, because once that's gone then I guess no one can complain about politics, eh?

3. A hate religion.

No. I hate nothing. I am not a huge fan of religion. I think that the way many of the younger Japanese view it is a good way to view it. Religion is dangerous. If you believe in something and keep it to yourself, then so be it. Enjoy. Once you tell people what to do with your beliefs, then there is a problem. I've done a lot of religious research. I've read the Holy Bible, the Quran, the Book of Mormon, the Vedas ... and anything I could get my hands on related to religion. I know about religion. I don't find a lot of them to be as peaceful as they say they are. There have been a lot of cultures that have been destroyed and lost thanks to 'peaceful' religions. I respect others and their right to believe in whatever. I have a policy that as long as you are hurting no one, do whatever you want. Once you step out of those bounds is when I have an issue. 

So there's that. A few things cleared up on that topic. One thing that always seems to surprise me is that I have a lot of people who request me to go to church events, or like religious-related pages. Perhaps they think they are trying to 'save' me. A nice gesture, but I am already saved. 

I think of religion and beliefs (and life) as a path. Everyone has a path, and that is their religious/life/spiritual/whatever journey. As you go along, you build your own path. Sometimes you stop and make shelters or struggle to find where you are and where you're going or what you believe in. Occasionally your path my cross others, but your path is still your path. Whatever is correct on your path, may only be correct on your path. A religious zealot, I view, is someone who decides it is their job to go and try to build other people's paths. While they do that, they go onto a path that is not theirs ... that is different ... and then try to make it their own, or like their own. But the uniqueness is that everyone's path is different. Everyone has a different truth, a different goal to achieve. I have no problems with the person who goes onto someone else's path and offers help or advice. It is when they try to take over, tell you how to build your own path where the problems arise. Religion is a private thing to me. I don't mind discussing it, but it is your private thing, your belief. Not mine. Just because it is your truth, does not make it my truth.

There is my short religious talk. My second and final topic is Alaska and how Alaskans on my Facebook are the biggest whiners when it comes to weather. Seriously? 

This is what happens every time it snows in June, the winter is a little late ending, it snows in September or October, it gets -40, roads are icy, or any other normal weather that happens in the middle of Alaska:

WHINE. WHINE. WHINE. WHINE. WHINE.

If this is you ... why do you live in Alaska, the interior especially? Because people from Anchorage on my Facebook don't complain. Isn't that embarrassing? I thought people from the interior were the 'real' Alaskans. No, because they complain every time the weather is extreme, which the interior is known for. Unless you are a teenager and you have no choice, you have absolutely no reason to complain. Save up. Move out of the interior. Unless you are a teenager, you had to have rather made the choice to come to the interior, or made the choice to stay there. So why are you complaining? Suck up! 

My favorite is when people complain about having winter for nine months as if it is abnormal in the interior. 

This is just one of my great pet peeves. Along with people spelling ridiculous 'rediculous'. I love Alaska, and being away from it for two winters has really made me appreciate it. I love cold weather. I love snow. That is why I will return to Alaska and not complain (except when it is 95 degrees, what is up with that shit?). 

So I guess I mostly just complained this week, but I hope you enjoyed my rants nonetheless!

Also, I need someone who has Pokémon X and Y to trade with me. Seriously. I have some Pokémon that require trade evolution.

~Until Next Time 

Two Months

Now that I've been in Japan for two months, fall is starting to actually begin with crisp mornings and leaves changing. Although it is not quite cool enough for me yet, I look forward to November. Not a lot has happened lately, except midterms and going to Kobe last Sunday with my host mom again. Occasionally I am frustrated from culture shock and at times enjoy Japan very much.

This last week has been very long. I've been through a lot of pain (physical) with my bad back so have been taking painkillers, which make me very sleepy and unable to pay attention. So I spent my midterm week on painkillers and in pain. One of my grammar exams I received a 100% and the other 88% (unsatisfactory!); as for kanji exams one with 100% and the other with 96%. Not bad, considering.

The week hasn't been all bad, I did get Pokémon X and Y. I started with X and only have one badge but am really enjoying it. There are a few things I'm disappointed by such as them taking away seasons (it would have been so aesthetically pleasing with the new cel-shaded 3D graphics), and the fact that there are only 69 new Pokémon added to this generation! What the hell? They added a whole new type but couldn't be bothered to add at least 100 new creatures? Now I have to look forward to Generation 7 prematurely (maybe it will bring back seasons! Grrr). Though, this game is based off of France and it makes me extremely nostalgic, so let's go into the next topic ...

The last thing I would like to talk about is my experiences with host families. I have been so lucky to have them. From my first host family in Angers, my second in Grenoble, my third that only lasted the last week I was in Grenoble, and now my host family in Osaka. They have all been so wonderful. One of my favorite parts is that I have gotten to meet parts of their extended families (besides the third one, but the host mom took me to the Alps and made the most delicious rhubarb crumble I've ever had). Having dinner during Christmas Eve and spending Christmas in Angers with my host mom's sister's family was great. Meeting my second host family's grandchildren really required for me to exercise my French skills, and I really enjoy trips to Kobe with my host mom here in Osaka to see her daughter's family as well as meeting my host mom's son.

My first host family was so relaxed and easy-going, which I think made my first months in France and my first time living in another country so much better than it could have been. My host mom taught me to cook rice, and my host dad was funny and kept me on my toes. Also, my host dad was an awesome cook and I learned so much about cheese and wine. Of course, there were two other students staying there, another American and my friend from Osaka (who I've mentioned quite a few times and have reconnected with while here). As my first host family, they will always have a special place in my heart.

My second host family in Grenoble was a little bit different. Because I was the only student, all of their attention was turned towards me. My host mom and I would talk for long periods of time about deep subjects after dinner, and I would play chess with my host dad. We'd watch Doctor House and The Voice in French during the evenings and weekends. They were an older couple and I really enjoyed them. We'd go to the movie theatre, art exhibitions, and go snow-shoeing.

My third host family was only for a week since I had to leave a week later than expected and my host family had already made reservations to go after I had left. There was another student there as well, along with there being a host-brother and just a host mom. She really made my last week in France memorable. We talked for long hours about environment, climate change, and cold countries such as Russia (her daughter was abroad there and she was very interested in tundra landscapes). We went to the Alps and explored several villages there.

I remember when I got home in Alaska and was so melancholic for a month or two. Occasionally when I look through French photos or talk of France, this mixture of nostalgia and melancholy overwhelm me. It was such a beautiful place, and kudos to Pokémon for making their newest game based off of France and letting me relive it a little (even though a lot of it is stereotypes instead of real France).

Lastly, my fourth host family, and current, here in Osaka is fantastic. My host mom is so kind and really has a good heart. Although my Japanese is not very good for deep conversations (sometimes we try, though), I look forward to when I can express myself better so that I can learn even more things from her. Going places and meeting her previous students, her friends, and family is always exciting. I've been able to meet so many people thanks to my host mom.

All of my host families have been so wonderful and I couldn't place any of them to be worse or better than the others. Every day I learn so many new things, and these people helped me learn even more than I could have without them!

That is all for now ...

~Until Next Time

Late Update

I know that I missed last week, but a lot has been happening these past two weeks. Last weekend I went to Kobe with my host mom again in order to see her granddaughter's chorus performance. It was very long and very hot. Afterwards I had dinner with my host mom's daughter's family where we had some very interesting alcohol. I didn't get home until late and then Sunday I went with my host mother to a food festival kind of thing, not totally sure what to call it. There was a lot of unique food, especially from Okinawa.

Monday was a holiday and I had a date. It was very lovely and on Tuesday I entered a new relationship. He is not Japanese nor American, but German. Since I find romance to be very much personal and this is a public blog, I don't really want to put too many details here. Just know that I am having a wonderful time.

Wednesday was when a typhoon hit Japan, killing people in Tokyo. It missed Osaka for the most part, besides some rain and a bit of wind the night of. The rest of the week was preparing for Kishibe-sai, our university's festival. For that, we had Friday off which I spent catching up with my previous roommate from France. I have mentioned her in older blog posts when I was in Angers. Together we shared a host family and during New Year's we went to Paris, Ireland, and England. Yesterday we caught up, walked around, and went to a small temple in Ibaraki.

Today was the festival and I spent most of it working at one of our booths. It was busy and fun, and tomorrow may look a bit similar ... except that I get to sleep in tomorrow.

Since I was lame and didn't update last week, I will make it up by sharing some things I've noticed in Japan!

1. Stealing bikes must not be a problem as I have noticed that almost all bikes, if not all, in bike parking spaces are not locked to anything.

2. On the television, so far I've noticed that every time there is an American and they voice them over, the males are given really deep voices and girls are given these adorable ones.

3. The one time I went to the theatres here, I watched Miyazaki's last film (a cartoon). Pre-film, almost all the commercials were of American cartoons coming to theatres.

4. There are a lot of Halloween decorations, but mostly only cute ones. Lots of purple and orange too. I think that in the U.S. we use a lot more black and orange in our Halloween decorating (and fake blood).

5. I am surprised Halloween is even recognized here.

6. Americans from the Lower 48 and Americans from Alaska and Hawaii are kind of different. I actually noticed this a long time ago, but the more I meet Americans from the Lower 48 the more I come to realize just how different we are ... sure, we have some loud Alaskans but loud Alaskans seem to be different from loud Lower 48ians.

7. Mosquitoes here are evil. They give me huge bug bites that itch severely and leave marks afterwards even if I do manage not to scratch.

8. They have Kit-Kats in the flavor of green tea. I have yet to taste it.

9. Although I know it is normal here for people to push you while trying to get on/off the train, it still irritates me when it happens. The trains are frequently full of people.

10. They really do slurp their noodles here, and I have yet to get used to it. I am always surprised for a split moment when it happens.

Well, that is all for now! Thank you for reading!

Until next time~

Let's Talk Japan

Here we are, Monday (月曜日). Not a lot of terribly fascinating things have happened since October started besides the usual classes. My host father's 65th birthday was Saturday and my host family's daughter's family came over for dinner and to visit for the weekend. Friday I went to karaoke, and I did sing with the microphone once but laughed through most of it from embarrassment. Since Friday afternoon my lower back and side has been in some agonizing pain, luckily not enough to where I can't walk but enough to feel a bit unlike myself (I have severe chronic pain). I mostly stayed at home after karaoke, going to pottery with my host mom on Saturday before lying around for the rest of the night.

On top of the normal chronic back pain (that rides on the muscles that stretch from the spinal cord to my side), my stomach has been upset lately. I think it is adjusting to the diet, as the same thing happened in France after about a month or so of eating completely different foods. So hopefully it will quickly pass. It's odd, though, as I am really sure the food that I am eating here is much better than what I eat at home. I have rice every day, Japanese pears for breakfast every morning (they are apparently high in fiber), lots of green tea, and many other strange "really healthy Japanese secret" type foods.

So Japanese food is delicious. Some of it is strange. I'll admit I was a little surprised to see an entire fish sitting on a plate for me one night for dinner. I suppose this is normal for East Asian countries, and I shouldn't really be too weirded out considering some of the things I have eaten in the past (Blood Sausage, pork intestines, et cetera). I took it on fearlessly, though, but the real problem was not its little fishy guts nor the weird caramelized scales ... but it was that every bite had tiny little bones. I can't eat them and I don't want to spend more time taking every single little bone out than it would to just eat the damn thing. I've tried to just eat the bones, but there is something about it that just ruins the taste of the fish.

WARNING: Lots of Wiki articles. Mostly because there are pictures.

I unfortunately have not eaten some of the 'weirder' dishes here such as:

natto fermented beans that are apparently slimy and have a strong smell and taste. People warn me about it tasting terrible but people warned me about Blood Sausage as well. I will taste this!
(This photo is courtesy of Wikipedia)




fugu puffer fish. Yeah, that poisonous one that only super master chefs can make. Unfortunately it is very expensive and I'm kind of poor so yeah. My host mom said the cheapest she ever found was 5000 yen (50 bucks!) I guess it is expensive to toy around with poison. But everyone I've talked to who has tasted it said it was delicious and the best is when you get it with a sauce to dip it in (the poison) and then it makes your lips numb or some shit. Awesome e_e I will eat this eventually. There were a lot of fugu restaurants in Namba.
 I will eat you and you will be delicious.      (Photo: Wikipedia)


I have eaten some of the funner foods though!

Onigiri balls (triangles?) of rice with some vinegar like stuff to keep it in shape ... with a piece of seaweed on it. Seaweed is so delicious.
(Photo: Moi) Look how cute they are.






Okonomiyaki I've mentioned this one a few times. It is simply the best food that can possibly exist. Ever. They say that they are Japanese pancakes, but they really aren't. It's some kind of batter with lettuce and pork or whatever you have laying around the fridge smothered in this fantastic sauce.
(Photo: Moi) SO DELICIOUS.

Dango The little weird ball things in the photo (not the tea, obviously). It is like ... really sweet. Some kind of mochi. I wasn't very fond of them at first but now they are like candy to me. Very sticky and I can never figure out how to eat the lowest one on the stick ... e_e
(Photo: Moi)



Mochi It is like pounded rice that makes this gooey, sweet ... thing. They eat it every full moon and during New Year's (or whenever ... I had them last full moon with my host mom then a strawberry one after pottery with the ladies who come every weekend). Sometimes they have bean paste in them, which is somehow sweet and I don't think I fully understand the concept of beans being sweet.
(Photo: http://justjennrecipes.com/mochi-filled-with-nutella/2011/01/27/ omg Nutella Mochi?! Mochi is already sweet as it is!)

And well, I've had many other foods here, but for now I have to head to dinner to eat something. Maybe I will write another post this week before next week's update!

~Until Next Time