What I want to be when I grow up

Considering that I am a senior in college, I should probably know what I want to do with my life, right?

No. 

I tell people that I will be teaching English abroad, which is something I wouldn't mind doing. It's not that it is something I don't want to do, it is just not what I would like to be doing as a career. I think it would be great to teach foreign students English, as I do love English and I do love other cultures. And if that doesn't work out I would like to go into the psychology field. These are things that I want to do that are realistic.

I know that people say, "follow your dreams!"

Sometimes I wonder, "what are my dreams? What is my ideal life?" Then I realize that my ideal life is not working, having no money problems with a relatively nice house, the chances to travel, a husband, kids, drawing or writing and learning all day long, being a philanthropist, and having a library in my house (that one is really important).

So okay. 

I am definitely a dreamer, but I also like to be realistic. I have to eventually work. I'd rather not be an actor, writer, or artist who scrimps by and has to have shitty jobs on the side as I wait for my big 'break-through' that may or may never come. Many people who know me know that I do a lot of art and I write a lot. People always suggest that I should do something with it. Do what? The 2D artist market is dying, and fast. Disney just let go a bunch of 2D artists. Then I'd have to find someone that likes my specific art-style. What many people do not understand about the fine arts is that it is extremely subjective. You get a job based on what other people like. Writing is similar. I love to write and draw, but I don't have to have a career in it to continue doing it ... or enjoy it. I'd love to work for Disney as a 2D artist or hit it big as an author, but I'm okay if that doesn't happen. It relies too heavily on chance! It doesn't matter what your degrees are, it matters about your skill and if others like it. I can still write and draw on the side.

Unfortunately, one thing that I have come to realize that I am very interested in is being a historian (ancient civilization dating back to ancient Mesopotamia, Babylon, Greece, Egypt, et cetera) or a folklorist or someone who does religion/mythology research and study. However, I don't know what it takes to be in that field. I don't know if I should have started out as a History major, or maybe it doesn't matter what your undergraduate degree is, but you have to go to graduate school. Can I even afford graduate school? I wonder if it is even too late to do that. Do those types of people even make a lot of money? This is something I would have to look into, but honestly, once I get my degree I would have to take a break and go teach English to foreigners anyway. Money is too important in this world.

The problem is that I am fickle and have many, many interests. 

The least I can do to achieve my ideal life is to have a job that's pay is efficient that I enjoy, even if it isn't the job I'd choose if there was a panel with all the options and I got a job based on that.

One of the biggest problems with teaching is that I am not a teacher type person. I've always had people suggest being a teacher. When I spent most of my life with music, people would suggest teaching music ... when people see my art they suggest teaching art ... when people know I like English ... et cetera. I have attempted to be a tutor. My patience level is too low and I don't know how to efficiently explain things. I understand how it works, why can't you? It isn't hard, why can't you do it right? How can you not understand the first time I explained it? 

This is why for the longest time I absolutely refused to become a teacher. I have always known that I will be a horrible teacher. I don't teach people. I would never recommend someone like me to be a teacher. In fact, if you have my mindset do not become a teacher, people don't want you teaching their kids.

So, uh ... why are you going to be a teacher then?

Why?

Because it is a problem that I am like that. I view it as a bad trait to not be able to teach people. Teachers tend to understand their subjects even more because of teaching. Also, I think my lack of teaching skills highlights my true lack of social skills. I have become much more patient in my life compared to even two years ago. The reason I want to teach now is because teaching is a form of learning, and I cannot say no to learning. I must learn to be more patient and I must learn to explain things more efficiently. I want to be able to share what I know with people. 

That is why. I don't think it would be a permanent job anyway because most programs that send people to teach English in foreign countries only do it for a set period of time (1-5 years generally). Honestly, I couldn't be a teacher forever. I could teach for a little while, but for the rest of my career? Nope. 

Also, it would be difficult to settle down if I just spent my life teaching abroad. I do wish to settle down in Alaska eventually.  

Either way, the future isn't set in stone, but currently that is my plan. 

Two weeks left and Stereotypes!

Two weeks from now I will most likely be sitting in the Seattle airport according to my travel itinerary. Many people ask me if I am happy to return home, which is a littler harder to answer than a simple yes or no would give. In ways I am very content to go home to Alaska, as I've been away for almost seven months. I miss my family, my home ... on the other hand, I have spent seven months in France. I love France. I have made many memories here, met many lovely people, and most of all ... I have experienced so much more in my life than I ever would have if I had not gone abroad. I enjoy speaking French every day, even though my English gets awkward sometimes because of it, but learning French has helped me understand my maternal language more than before. From my friends I've even managed to learn little phrases and words in other languages like Chinese, Korean, and Arabic. I mean, just a little, but I don't know if I would have ever learned how to say "hello", "goodbye", "thank you", or other small vocabulary words/phrases otherwise. I even learned how to spell my name in Arabic, my name's origin language.

I have learned so much about other cultures. There was so much I didn't know about China and Korea before now, or Saudi Arabia, or Germany, Brazil, Italy, Spain, Japan, Mali, Haiti, the list goes on. I've been able to ask people questions of their country and hear answers from their point of view instead of seeing how America sees them. It has been absolutely wonderful.

Right now, I am still waiting for an answer on whether or not I am fully accepted into the Osaka program in Japan. I was accepted by the abroad office at UAF, but am still waiting for the OGU program to accept me. I've been a little worried considering that I don't know whether or not my letter with all of the hardcopy information made it to them in time ... and I guess that they are very strict about when they receive it. If it was late then I suppose it is a no-go for me, though it's been almost a month. I imagine if the answer was no, they would have told me already? I don't know. I am too worried about heading back home than that at this moment.

I have been severely burned out by classes. Apathy has me in a tight grip and I can't seem to make myself motivated or care by any means. I feel as though I easily get burned out, one of the big reasons I went abroad in the first place was because of burnout. Perhaps I have an easy burnout personality? Either way, I only have one week left of classes.

Since I am at a strange part of my voyage, I do not know whether my next update will be right before I leave France or once I'm in Alaska. Perhaps this is my last French blog ... or not. It probably depends on how I feel within the next two weeks. However, to end this, I would like to go through a few French stereotypes I think are prevalent amongst Americans. Allow for me to state firsthand that there will be generalizations made because that is the whole point of a stereotype. Of course there are 'exceptions' and not 'everyone is like that'. I know that.

1. The French are rude.

Correction: Parisians are rude.
But really.
I see why people may find the French to be a bit rude. Their culture isn't as warm as American culture when it comes to strangers on the street (but if you are climbing or doing something recreational, you not saying bonjour is considered rude ... my host parents asked me why I never said bonjour while we would go out and climb and I was confused because if you smile at strangers on the street it freaks them out so ... yeah). However, I find that to be the end of their rudeness. Their privacy bubbles are a lot smaller than what Americans are used to, and that might contribute to Americans thinking them rude. Once you break the stranger barrier, they are very hospitable and nice people. Even before sometimes.

2. The French hate Americans.

I think that Americans think that everyone hates them or that everyone loves them. The truth of the matter is, I have not yet met one French person who hates America. Considering that they love our television, our clothing, our celebrities, our news, our everything ... I cannot say that they hate us. At all. I was told before I left Alaska to always say that I am Alaskan and not American because they are nicer to you if you do that. While that is true, I find that saying I'm American has given me nice receptions as well. So, no, the French don't hate us.

3. French women don't shave their armpits.

Well, now that it is spring and women are wearing less clothing ... yeah, no. Women shave their armpits here. However, when I asked my host mom about it, she said that in the winter there is little to no need to shave there. She said that shaving armpits is a newer thing, so I suppose the stereotype came from somewhere and it just is dying out now.

4. Bicycles everywhere.

Yes. Girls in skirts and heels even ride bicycles. It may be because the French drive like maniacs or because getting a license costs over 1000€.

5. The French are always on strike, having demonstrations ...

Yes ... yes. It is extremely inconvenient.

6. They always eat frog legs, escargot, and have a baguette under their arms.

Frog legs are hard to find and they are super expensive, and out of my two host families neither knew how to make them. The few French people that are around my age when they asked about stereotypes and I told them about escargot ... they got squeamish and cried "noooooooooon!". I saw people with baguettes a lot more frequently in Angers than in Grenoble, but every dinner there is a baguette ...

7. The French don't bathe often and dowse themselves in perfume.

...
I was told that it is normal for French people not to shower for three days because it is not good for your skin (they are right in a way), though my host mom in Angers at least showered every morning because I always heard the shower running and when I went down to eat breakfast her hair was wet. The French do wear a lot of perfume, but I think it is for another reason ...

8. France is filthy. It smells bad and there is garbage everywhere.

Sometimes when I turn down a street I smell this awful, awful smell and it is always the same smell and has happened in every French city I have ever been in. I am always thankful when someone walks by dowsed in perfume/cologne. Someone suggested it could be the sewage system, but something needs to be done about it. And I hate to admit it, but yes, France is dirty. It is like people don't know how to throw shit away. I've been told it is a lot better than it used to be, but compared to Alaska, London, and Ireland ... yeah. It is the biggest downfall of France, I think.

9. Wine and Cheese.

Yeahhh ... some families have both for every lunch and dinner.

10. They smoke. A lot.

My second-hand smoke inhalation has quadrupled since I've come to France.

11. They are 'chic' and sophisticated fashion junkies.











12. They all wear berets.

They will deny it, but my observation skills note that I see at least three people per day wearing one.

13. They are romantic.

Yeah, I'd say they are at least more publicly romantic than Americans are.

14.  Mustaches and striped shirts.

This apparently comes from a specific region in France, and the only time I've ever seen someone wear that costume was at a tasting fair thing ... because they were representing their region. It is from the region of Breton. As for mustaches, I'd say the French men I've seen that are my age tend to be a little scruffy, but not full out mustaches really.

15. They are artistic.

Yeah, but just as much as everyone else, I think.

And since that is all of my known French stereotypes at the moment, there you have it! Despite its negatives, France is still lovely and wonderful.

Food! Almost one month left.

March is coming slowly to an end. My ticket home has been bought and I am almost completely finished with my application to Osaka, Japan. I have my occasional moment where I think, "Wow, I am so ready to go home!" or "I haven't done everything I want to do! I'm not ready to go home yet!" but I think I am ready. A part of my keeps wanting to cancel my Japan idea, but I've come too far and worked too hard. Why would I want to cancel it, you ask? Well, I think being homesick is mostly what it is. It happens, I just can't allow for myself to give in. Going to Japan is obligatory, just as was coming to France, going to college. It is a landmark in my brain that has been planted and will not move no matter how many other options I try to give myself. It's how I work.

Other than being kind of moody this last month (I find myself being a little more facetious and irritated lately only to pause after a moment and wonder to myself why I'm the one being a pain in the ass) and busily worrying about things getting done, I've been going on excursions.
1. Dijon and Beaune. Lovely cities that I greatly enjoyed.
2. "Tirer Les Bois". Went to a vineyard and hacked at the vines that had decided to grow around the wires.
3. Les Grottes de Chorange: absolutely magnificent.
Don't worry, I'll eventually post the photos to 1 and 3 on Facebook some day soon. I didn't take pictures of 2 considering that it was working.

To get to the main topic I'd like to talk about today other than a brief catching up, food is one of those cultural things that I find necessary to test out while in a new place. I'll be honest, eating is not my favorite time occupation. In fact, sometimes I feel disgusted at the fact that I need to eat in order to stay alive. I wish that I could eat whenever I wanted instead of inconveniently being bothered by tummy rumblies when I'm too busy(lazy) to go and feed myself. Other than that, I do enjoy tasting new foods and cuisines. France is big on gastronomy and the past six months have been full of tasting new things. What have I had here, you ask? Just so you know, I will pretty much taste anything.

- Lots of different kinds of cheese. I can't remember all of their names, but back in Angers every time I ate with my host family (three times a week) there was a new cheese to test out. Many different types of goat cheese, Parmesan, Beaufort, lots of different blue cheeses like Roquefort (supposedly the strongest cheese, but other people tell me any cheese can be super strong if you leave it in the fridge for like three weeks), and well ... lots of others. I've been to gastronomy fairs where there are literally like hundreds of booths of cheese, wine, meat, and other regional specialties ... but mostly cheese. I actually do not like cheese, but since there is like 360+ cheeses I don't see why I can't be bothered to at least taste every kind presented. I probably won't like it since I have yet to like a cheese, but you never know until you try, eh?

- Wine. So much wine. I hate wine too, but I am like a wine master. Red tastes like strong vomit, white tastes like normal vomit, sweet white tastes like perfume. I've tasted so much wine here that I am really positive that I do not like it. I did have some strawberry wine that was actually not too bad.

- Bread. The French love bread just as much as they love wine and cheese, don't you let anyone tell you otherwise. Baguettes galore. Brioche. Bread with praline in it, bread with sugar on it, bread with cinnamon in it, but mostly they like to eat plain bread.

- Flan. A delicious dessert made of the dreams of children. Love this shit. Go Google it if you don't know what it is.

- Omelette norvégienne (or apparently in English it goes by the super awesome name of Baked Alaska). They usually eat this during Christmas time. Basically it's deliciousness that they throw burning alcohol on which caramelizes the frosting or whatever is on top.

- Boudin Blanc (White Sausage). Made for Christmas. I've had it twice and neither times did I like it. It is literally a white sausage. I believe it is made of pig, but not the bloody parts. That's left up to what's next.

- Boudin Noir (Blood Sausage). Yeah, this is the stuff made of pig blood. You cut it up and weird coagulated blood kind of bobs out (if I shake the plate, it wiggles). The idea is disgusting, but I found it to be rather delicious.

- Escargot. I find escargot to be a delicate meal. You eat it daintily with adorable little forks and then you are still madly hungry afterwards. In most restaurant they only give you four to eight of them, which is kind of a sham because they are so delicious. They're not slimy, contrary to popular belief.

- Oysters. These kind of depend on the juices that have been added. My favorite is when the juice you slurp out after eating the delicious morsel tastes like vinegar. My least favorite part is when you accidentally swallow pieces of the shell ...

- Couscous and Semolina. A North African dish. They're little rice looking things that have no flavor until flavor is added.

- Foie Gras (duck/goose liver). This stuff is so good, I could eat a jar of it. With some bread of course. It's also really popular to find at gastronomy fairs because every region apparently makes it differently (but it pretty much tastes all the same). I had a conversation about chicken with my host parents where they mentioned that they only buy chicken from local farms where they know the chicken weren't treated horribly. I asked them about Foie Gras (go look up the process of how they make that, eh) and all they said to that was, "Well, Foie Gras is delicious." Okay then. No complaints here, but ...

- Okonomiyaki. My Japanese roommate back in Angers made this before we parted ways. It's a little difficult to explain so your best bet is to look it up. But it was delicious and is a specialty in Osaka, so I'm guessing I'll be having this again if I manage to make the cut for the Osaka abroad program.

- Quiche. I hate quiche. It is one of the few things that I will not taste over and over again. I don't like the super scrambled egg texture. When I have scrambled eggs at my house they have to made a certain way because I just don't like the super fluffy egg thing. It is weird in my mouth and actually makes me kind of gag.

- Horse meat. Eh. It's okay. Didn't particularly like or dislike it. It kind of has a weird texture.

- Boeuf Tartare (raw beef). Considering that the French don't seem to like to cook their food all the way, this isn't too weird, eh? It tastes like beef ... but cold. I have yet to catch salmonella from it.

- Croissants. Soooo sick of croissants. They were so magnificent at first but then I had too many of them.

- Pain au chocolate. Chocolate bread? Bread with chocolate in it. See Croissants.

- Moules frites (mussels and French fries). Mussels aren't really filling, but French fries are! Here's something cute about French fries ... they're called French fries because they originate from Belgium. While in Dijon we were at a Kebab place and the 'Belgian Sandwich' was just two pieces of bread with a bunch of fries between. Hi-layre-ee-uss.

- Kebab and Shawarma. A middle eastern cuisine. Extremely greasy but quite delicious. Meat is generally of questionable origin according to Urban Dictionary, but hey ... obviously I am not one to really care considering my track record on what I'll eat, eh?

- Rabbit. But dey so kewt DEY SO DELICIOUS. Probably the best, most perfect meat in existence.

- Crepes. CREPES. Okay. there are "dinner crepes" where you put things like meat, cheese, tomatos, eggs, et cetera in it ... not my favorite. Don't really dig those kinds of crepes. But chocolate crepes? Caramel, salted butter crepes? The stamp of delicious is required for this entry. [DELICIOUS]

- Fromage Blanc. That translates as White Cheese. It is like yogurt, but be careful where you buy it at or it actually tastes like cheese. It's a dessert item.

- Duck. Not exactly rabbit, but delicious all the same.

- Fish and Chips. I had this in London. Well, it's ... it's fish and chips (fries). Nothing too special.

- Beer. I've had a fair share of beer tasting as well, not as much as wine, but tasted all the same. Beer is questionable. It is not quite as off-putting to me as wine, but I don't exactly like it either. There was one beer I tasted that I kind of liked, but it was in an Irish pub somewhere in Angers that I cannot even remember the name of. Of course, in Dublin I had Guinness. I have yet to figure out if I like Guinness or not ...

- Cider. Depends on what kind it is. Though, I don't really like alcohol either way so there's that.

- Tartes. Apple tart, raspberry tart, strawberry tart. Nummy.

- Hot chocolate and coffee. I've noticed that both of these are a lot more bitter here in France than in the U.S. My first few weeks here I had to add sugar to my hot chocolate. I'm used to it now. Coffee, on the other hand, I have never liked in the first place but it is especially black here.

- Ominous specialty alcohols from the Alps with branches of a pine tree in them. I love drinking pine-sol (this is a joke, it was awful).

- Weird aperatif snacks. An aperatif is when everyone invited sits around and has a whole meal of small little snacks and generally some wine to go with it. Since I don't know the names of the things I've eaten during aperatifs I'll just have to describe them. Weird little pieces of bread with meat in it, weird spreads that taste like fish, salmon (salmon in France is not eaten as fresh as salmon in Alaska), and pretzel sticks.

- Macarons. Little delicious cake things.

- Chocolate. It is really good here. Kind of bitter but good. It doesn't taste like plastic how many chocolates in the U.S. taste.

- Mushroom meals from the caves. Gross. But that's my fault because I had a food poisoning experience the year before thanks to mushrooms (and my stupidity).

- Churros. Yum!

- Scones. I have had them before in Alaska, but I noticed that scones from Ireland taste different from scones from London. Cheers.

- English and Earl Grey Tea. Best tea ever. Well, there's still green tea, but ...

- Fondue. I actually am not a huge fan of fondue. I mean the traditional cheese and crouton fondue. I greatly prefer racklette.

- Racklette. Like fondue, a meal traditional to the Alps and Switzerland. You have a cheese melting thing and you melt the cheese and then you slide it onto some potatoes and meat. My favorite~

Well, that is all for now! I think this is long enough and I can't really think of any more, although I am sure that I have tasted other things.

Until next time~

One Month, Two Months.

Well, I have been in Grenoble for a little over a month now. As that means, I have a little less than two months left in France. As the days grow closer, and March is now in swing, I wonder if I have done everything I've wanted here. Have I accomplished what I came here for? What did I come here for? Meanwhile, I prepare myself for my Osaka, Japan application. Will I learn everything I want to while I am there as well? What kind of experiences did I have here that I want in Japan? Do I finally feel like I understand French culture?

I have so many questions for myself at this point in time. I've spent five months here, speaking French, eating French food, watching French television ... et cetera. I know that at this point I am definitely over my initial culture shock and have accepted this foreign culture. Some things are still a little weird and different, but that is all right. For the most part, speaking with Americans has become somewhat foreign to me now. While I read American news, Alaskan news, listen to what people have to say on Facebook ... I am out of the loop. When I return home, what will it be like? I've read a thing or two (and heard a thing or two) about reverse culture shock. I am not terribly worried about it, but I wonder from time to time.

Of course, as my departure nears, I fret about packing. I have simply bought too much stuff here. Coming from Angers to Grenoble was a nightmare. I had two suitcases filled to the brim, a backpack filled, a bigger sac/purse filled, a small bag filled, and a small purse filled. I only have two arms. I must begin to start sending things home in boxes, but unfortunately it is so expensive and I am super broke. So I am a little flustered over that, though I try not to think too hard about it. At least I have learned my lesson (though, Japan will be much easier since I will land in my designated city and go straight home instead of having to take a train to Paris ... blahblahblah). I can't bring myself to toss too much. I have kept a lot of newspapers, which definitely take up a lot of room, surprisingly. Though, some newspapers I have kept for specific reasons (the War on Mali, December 21 Apocalypse, American elections, and more).

I will be keeping this blog post short since I am mostly in a contemplative state of mind at this point. It has been a long time since I've made a blog post so thought I may as well, at least, write something small.

Grenoble - A new adventure!

Now that it has been a week and almost a half since my heart-wrenching departure from Angers, I have decided that I should sit my lazy ass down and write to this blog. First of all, Grenoble is quite different from Angers. It is awfully weird to uproot myself to a new city where practically everyone in API (the abroad program I'm in) upon meeting me thinks I am new to France and thus forth wants to explain things I already know. Before I start rambling, I find it best that I start from my departure.

Leaving Angers was very difficult. I really fell in love with the city, the people, the atmosphere. It is a city very much like Fairbanks. A city, but not a big city. My host parents were fantastic in Angers. They taught me so much about French culture and I enjoyed our conversations, dinners, and memories. Some friends had come to say goodbye to me at the train station, making it harder times infinity to not be full of emotions. Angers is a beautiful city where I have beautiful memories and met beautiful people. Even when it rained it was always vibrant with the colorful buildings, tram, and trees.

Once I arrived in Grenoble, everything was a bit weird and I was feeling less emotional up until I was sort of comfy in my new room. Unpacking brought up so many items I bought in Angers, Ireland, London, and Paris. I thought of how far I've come in four months ... in life, spirituality, language, open-mindedness ... everything. I wondered if I would have ever managed such progress in my life without going abroad. It surely would have taken years to reach that moment otherwise. Though, I've always taken life rather slow in order to inspect and enjoy every moment. I view life kind of as a tall mountain with different environments, mysteries, trees, rocky slopes, and what-have-you. Some people like to scramble up the mountain, some like to take their time, some enjoy launching themselves from the jagged rocks via bungee cords ... some get lost. Either way, I don't think any way is a bad way to go up the mountain as everyone has their different methods of life. I just prefer to go slow, discover as I make my way up at a nice pace. Crawl under weird rocks where mysteries lie as I ponder them just because I can. Before abroad I was kind of stuck in a rut, confused about who I was, what I had been, and where I was going to go. Now I'm back on track, but a different path that it is a little deviated from what had been. Not that I necessarily fully understand who I am, what I was, and where I'm going as I find that will always be a part of the journey, it just feels a little more right than before.

The first few days in Grenoble were mildly irritating. I am sure it was thanks to changing cities, altitudes, and general atmosphere. There was the occasional moment where I was very homesick for Angers. Eventually, once I was situated with classes I became less irritated. Since I've only been here for a week, I still occasionally feel a bit discontented, but have mostly gotten over it.

Grenoble is beautiful as the Alps surround the city. Their trams are kind of ugly compared to the trams in Angers and the buildings are quite as bright and colorful. I've learned that Grenoble prides itself as being the city where the French Revolution started, so there is a lot of monuments, statues, and historical buildings that reflect that bit of history. It has snowed more here than it did in Angers, but the snow is mushy and wet ... Alaskans from the interior will recognize that as being the break-up period around end of March-April. My host family is very kind here. I wouldn't say they are better or worse than my first host. They've all been lovely people so far, Muriel and Phillipe, Catherine and Charles (generally I avoid name dropping in my blogs - for future reference). I think about how sad it was to leave my first host family and then realize that I will have to do the same for my current host ... and then again with my host in Japan.

To finish up, here are some things about France! This round it's mostly differences between Angers and Grenoble.

1. In France, for cities that have trams, you have to have a transport card thing that you must 'validate' when you get on. If you don't and the tram police (I don't know what they're really called) get on and scan your card to find that you didn't validate - bam! - you get to pay a fine! Grenoble has four tram lines, a fifth one in the making, and the validation booths are at the tram stops while in Angers there is just one tram line and the validation booths are in the actual tram.

2. Angers is apparently more 'bourgeoisie' than Grenoble. Many people here have explained to me that Angers is where all of the pretty things are and the rich lived there. Grenoble is more industrial, which would make sense as to how they could have possibly been where the French Revolution began (I guess there's some controversy to this, but the people of Grenoble are quite persistent about it).

3. Angers is way cleaner than Grenoble (and Paris ... and Dublin on New Year's).

4. You can buy codeine over the counter in France.

5. It is not really that cold in Grenoble (the coldest it's been is -6 C/21 F).

Until next time~!

Here it comes ...

Now that it is my final days in Angers I figured that I should write perhaps my last blog post while I'm in this city. As my time to depart grows closer, my emotions have become a little mixed and sloshed about. I'll admit, it's difficult knowing that everyone else will rather be staying here in Angers or headed home while I'm still in France but being uprooted anyway. I rather hear cries of relief and sadness as people talk about their home countries, talking about seeing their family again ... and then those that are resting here in Angers comfortably for another few months. I'm doing neither of those.

Of course, it's not say that my course of action isn't exciting. It's absolutely the contraire, in fact. Apparently contraire is not an English word, even though we use it as an expression (what a crock). Back to topic - I'm very excited for Grenoble. It will be a new adventure and give me the ability to experience a different part of France while I'm here. I have no regrets with this decision.

As Saturday, my day of departure, creeps up on me, I find that I am watching friends leave while my brain isn't fully comprehending that I will be leaving soon as well. It's difficult to precisely explain my feelings at this point in time. It's been difficult to describe them for living here in France. Occasionally I feel a little sad from time to time, but I would never take back this adventure for the pros and everything I've done make everything worth it. Honestly, the sad parts are a part of the pro as well. Without the sad parts it wouldn't be a complete adventure, now would it?

Having my roommate leave before me was a little tough. Sad. We have done a lot of things together, going to England, Ireland ... spending time in Paris, having dinners. It will be fun to see her again when I go to Osaka. Until then!

I'm sure I've said it before, but going abroad was the best thing I've ever done. I can't explain how successful and good I feel about myself thanks to this decision. I worked hard for this and encourage others to give it a shot. Even for a semester. Or for anyone. Go out and explore the world! Open your mind and learn new things.

My host family, my roommates, the AHA director, the other students in AHA and CIDEF, my professors of CIDEF ... all of these people have been wonderful and I will miss all of them. I will also miss seeing the castle and cathedral almost every day as I make my way from Avrillé to Angers.

To end this entry, here are some things about France:

1. All of those "surveys" and things like that about France being the rudest country (rudest people) are full of BS. The French have been nothing but kind to me.

2. It is apparently okay to pick your nose in public. I've seen this happening several times and nobody seems to be bothered by it.

3. When you have crepes, first you eat a crêpe salée (dinner crêpe?) and then you eat a crêpe sucrée (dessert crêpe). You're supposed to anyway.

4. It is acceptable to not shower for two to three days. The French think that it is not good for your skin to shower every day (they're actually correct about this).

5. The French are much more thick-skinned than Americans. It will be sad to return to the United States and remember everyone takes everything personally. Bunch of babies.

What time is it? Adventure Time!

*This has nothing to do with the Cartoon Network telly emission: Adventure Time! Although, I do find it a humorous and cute show.

As it is now 2013 and we have only a year and four-ish months until our next Doomsday, I have finally returned from my eight day voyage. It was long and I am going to try my best to recount the events to the best of my tired and exhausted memory.

To begin, our airlines only allowed one baggage that fitted a rather depressingly small limit. In that case, I brought about three pairs of pants and shirts for eight days and was forced to wear them over again in order to fit the baggage requirement. Not only that, but I knew that I was going to be buying things in my destinations for the New Year's. Bringing sweaters was mandatory as I had been told that Ireland and the UK tend to have a lot of wind and is a bit chillier than France.

Friday, December 28, 2012
Paris was a little bit frustrating at first. It took me a long time to find Ayaka in the Louvre and I was a little bit confused from a long train ride and not being accustomed to big cities with millions of people. I ended up missing out on the Louvre since it was closing in only thirty minutes after I made it there. Most of the rooms were closed and I didn't want to rush through the little that was still open. Once I did manage to meet up with Ayaka we went through the metro in order to buy some food from a market and head to our hostel. Most people in Paris speak English, which was a bit strange for me considering that I have been speaking and hearing the people around me speak French for three months.

Saturday, December 29, 2012
Unfortunately, our hostel was booked that night so we had to book another. Though, first things first, we went to the Opera house of Paris. It was magnificent, the architecture and frescoes on the ceilings. Sculptured of the Greek Muses and gods ... the halls of gold ... it was beautiful. After a few hours in there it was to the Louvre. The metro is kind of expensive and really not my favorite way of getting around, so we tried walking. We had some Chinese food and walked through the extremely crowded area of Galerie Lafayette. It is apparently famous for its windows where little puppet shows are put on. People were shoulder to shoulder, and it was difficult to move at all. A kind of interesting experience, all in all. We didn't really get anything done except walk around Paris for hours and hours searching for the Louvre at that point. Unfortunately, by the time we found out that we had made a full circle back to Galerie Lafayette in three hours time, we took the metro to the Louvre. It was closed. I was very heartbroken, knowing that our next day was going to be spent at the Château de Versailles and we were not going to have any time to return. Going to the Louvre was my number one things to do in Paris. I am not sure when the next time I will ever be able to return to Paris, I imagine some day in the future, but it will most likely not be for a while. We were also not able to fit in seeing the Notre Dame de Paris, my second thing to see in Paris. So, I kind of missed out on the two most looked forwarded to things on my list. Afterwards we took pictures of L'Arc de Triomph and walked down Champs-Élysée where the marché de Noël was and began our search for our hotel. 
I was already finding that my luck was deciding to rest on the bad side for me, but it didn't really hit a low until we finally found our hotel, locked and the machine outside not accepting our online reservation. As it was practically midnight in Paris and we were finding ourselves without a place to sleep, we finally decided to just buy another room. My iPod touch would not open web browsers and it is impossible for me to shut it down thanks to the button breaking about a month ago, which we were kind of relying on for internet for finding places and whatnot. The hotel was a little sketch, but nothing bad happened.


Sunday, December 30, 2012
Last day in Paris. We headed to the Château de Versailles for almost the whole day. We found that there was a phenomenal line before entering. By phenomenal, I mean that we waiting for almost three hours in this line and it wrapped around about four times, nearly filling up the area in front of the château. Luckily, it was free for students and we were shoved around by other visitors. Other than that, it was a very beautiful castle. I had not been aware that it held certain paintings and statues - or the hall of mirrors. Unfortunately, I brought my boots with me because I had heard that Ireland would be a little chilly with the wind and it being close to the ocean. They have a heel, though I had thought it would be all right since it is meshed with the other part of the boot. Faulty logic on my part. My feet hurt so bad that on our way out we stopped by this small store in order to buy cheap flats so that my feet would stop crying. Finally, we ready to stay the night at the airport since we had an early flight. We met a Chinese girl who was studying in Italy while there and the three of us were kicked out around midnight. Apparently, Beauvais in Paris is one of the only airports in France that closes late at night. So we took a bus to nowhere, the Parisien busdriver being a little less than agreeable with us. Finally, another French person on the bus told us where to go since he and his girlfriend had also been kicked out of the airport. Once at the hotel, he helped us in and as we talked, we found out that he was also from Angers!

Monday, December 31, 2012
The flight was short and we were in Dublin early in the morning. We took a bus to downtown, finding that most signs were in Irish and English, which I thought was pretty cool. Once settled down in the hostel, we went on a tour around town, learning about the buildings and history of Dublin. We stopped by Guinness, but it was kind of expensive to enter so headed to the cathedral instead. Unlike France, you have to pay to enter the cathedrals in Ireland and UK, something that I think kind of defeats the whole purpose and idea of a cathedral or holy place meant for worship. It was a pretty cathedral, and about halfway through it we realized that the time was different by an hour. So we headed back to the hostel where we met one of the other girls staying in our room. She was from Sitka, the first other Alaskan I have met in Europe. Although Sitka is very different in weather and mentality from the interior, it was still nice to meet someone a little bit closer in understanding than other Americans. There was one other person, but we never saw her, just a pile of apples that sat on her bed. 
For the New Year's Eve night, we ended up walking around, a little lost in search of fireworks. They went off before we could find them and by the time we could see them they were done. Defeated and sad, Ayaka and I got into a little bit of a dispute and a long talk thanks to personality and probably cultural differences as well (and that our common language is not either of our maternal languages). After coming to some common ground and apologizing, we made up over some traditional Irish stew, Potato skins, Guinness, and Cider in a small pub to greet 2013. 
When we returned to the hostel, the mysterious apple bed was still uninhabited and the other Alaskan was gone. We heard fireworks at the new year (we celebrated a little early since we had a tour at five in the morning the next day) and to bed it was.

Tuesday, January 1, 2013
Starting the New Year off, we waited at a bus stop for our tours at five in the morning and looking at the streets. Beer bottles were broken everywhere, people still up from the festivities and Irish people telling us Happy New Year and 'Morning!' every time they walked by. A very kind bunch, really. I find their attitude similar to Alaskans. Smiling and saying hello to strangers, being a little joking and playful in humor; things like that. Anyway, once on the tour bus, we watched the sun of the New Year rise in Ireland. The grassy knolls, the small hedges, and the land of the Fae ... I really love Ireland. A land full of rich folklore and history and beautiful scenery. The tour lasted almost the entire day, making stops here and there for some better shots for photography. Ireland sure has some unbelievably adorable sheep. After that, we went shopping a little bit in Galway, Ireland where I bought myself a wool scarf/hoodie and some gifts for the family. Finally, we returned to Dublin and the mysterious apple bed had a human in it. Surprise!

Wednesday, January 2, 2013
First thing in the morning, we got on a ferry for an hour before landing in Wales. I took one sole picture of the dock saying, "Welcome to Wales," and we got on a train to London. Since we didn't arrive until a little later in the day, we headed to a pub for some fish and chips and some English mashed potato, sausage thing. I honestly wasn't really digging the second dish, but fish and chips were satisfactory. I definitely prefer Irish food and French food has to come out as number one. We found out hostel after taking the British metro (Underground, apparently, is the term - also, I guess Americans use the word Subway. Metro is French. Oops on my part more than once!), which is unbelievably expensive. We bought the Oyster card, an item that is for use with buses and the Underground for a much cheaper rate than if we were to buy tickets separately (five pounds for one ticket Underground). Our hostel was very nice and our room had eighteen girls in it. Had a long shower for once, and slept in a little.

Thursday, January 3, 2013
Our first full day in London. First things first were to head to Buckingham Palace where we did not see the guards with the poofy, tall black hats. It appeared as though we had come on the wrong day, but there were other guards who spoke with us and let us take pictures with them. We did watch some Cavalrymen from the other side of Buckingham palace, something that was neat and fancy too. Once that was finished we headed to Westminster Abbey and were highly (okay, I was highly) disappointed by the size of Big Ben. In case you are not aware of its size, it is about sixteen stories tall and is nearly the same height as the cathedral of Westminster Abbey just across from it. That sounds big, but considering how we see it in movies, I will have you know that it is greatly exaggerated in films. Probably just like the Statue of Liberty (I don't really know, I just read an article that said it is not as big as films make it out to be).
After being disappointed by the size of Big Ben, it was a little bit difficult for me to fully appreciate its beauty. It is a very beautiful building. The details and architecture is fantastic. But we moved on to Westminster Abbey where we were not allowed to take photos and paid eighteen pounds to get in (basically thirty dollars). It was gorgeous, and very saddening to not be able to take pictures. Tombs of the queens and kings of England were buried there, homages to famous writers like Charles Dickens, Lewis Carroll, and more; there was so much there. A mass happened while we were walking around so decided to participate in it. I have to admit that it is neat to say the only mass I have ever attended was in Westminster Abbey in London. A communion came after that, which we did not participate in. Neither of us are Christians or followers of Jesus, so it felt a little strange to be there. Otherwise, the building was beautiful with lots of history, including newer history such as being the place where Kate and William were married.
Continuing with our day in London, we had some tea and scones. I have come to really like tea, especially Earl Grey and Green Tea. English Tea is very good with no milk or sugar, I found. Earl Grey is accommodating either way. For a short while we walked the streets of London and stopped by a few book shops where I found some very interesting books on Mythology, Religion, and the like. I'm not sure if that's just the mode in the England or I've just been away from the United States for so long, but there were a lot more informative books on those subjects. It was much easier to find books on religion from a non-religious stand-point, though I have come to notice the America is a lot more religious than Europe.
Finally, we went on a boat tour that went under a few bridges and finally London Bridge. That lived up to expectations. Afterwards, we returned to our hostel to rest up before our final day of the voyage.

Friday, January 4, 2013
Our last day was spent in the British Museum. It was probably the best part of the entire voyage. I did enjoy the landscape of Ireland, but there was so much history in the museum. There were items from ancient Mesopotamia, Egypt, Aztec findings, Persia, ... just ... everywhere. There were ancient Roman vases, the Rosetta Stone, Cleopatra's body, mummies filling up entire rooms, ancient Akkadian written tablets, items from the Parthenon, Jade carvings from China, and more. It was impossible to take pictures of everything, so I tried my best to take pictures of the things that were especially amazing. It was one of the best four hours of my life.
After the Museum we walked around the streets again, searching for some places to shop. Unfortunately, everything is just so expensive in London that I didn't really buy much. I bought some gifts for my family, a few books, and I believe a few other nick nacks, but other than that, London was too expensive. I'm not sure how people can manage to live there.
Finally, we stayed the night in the airport, since that was allowed there. Ayaka slept while there, but I spoke with two other people who were staying the night. A girl from Italy who spoke five languages and a man originally from Turkey but had lived in London for ten or fifteen years. We spoke of religion and many other things. It was a meeting that I think I will never forget. The world is filled with unique and interesting people who have made wondrous voyages both physically, mentally, and spiritually.
We left London early in the morning, landing in Paris to grab a bite to eat and shop a little before returning to Angers.

Today, I reflect on my voyage and find that I have learned a lot from it. I wish that other people in this world will have the advantage and chance for such an experience. Open your mind. I have seen so many people be held back by religion, politics, and other ideas that keep their mind stuck on just their own values. Learn about other ideas. It doesn't mean change them, but learn about them and don't be so quick to judge. Stop thinking that other people are wrong. They just have different ideas.

May you have had a wonderful New Year's celebration to my readers and may you have a fantastic 2013. May you continue to learn many things in this world!

Until next time~